Wow, so its midsemester, i'm a sophomore, and i havn't blogged in over a million years at least.  So  whats goin on with me huh? Well I'm really trying to keep my grades up hardcore, i mean seriously.  I think i have somewhere close to like a 2.8 and thats seriously not gonna cut it. I'd really like to see my GPA get up to like a 3.2 or maybe 3.5 by the time i'm assessed next year, so really pray that i'll use my time wisely for studying and make it out of this semester on top. 

In other news, I got a call from my training NCO this afternoon and i get to go to Air Assault school this summer at fort campell so thats freakin awesome! I'm really pumped about that because not many people get to go to schools and i think it will be some good training for me. 

Lately i'm really trying (and mostly failing) at trying to find joy in serving the Lord and other people. Don't get me wrong I love serving, but sometimes its hard to do the things i know i need to do, and i'd really like to be obediant for the sake of loving God and wanting to glorify Him in what i do. Does that make sense? I hope so.  Anyway i think i'll be going through the membership process at Christ the King Presbytarian Church here in norman soon so thats a huge blessing.  God has just really blessed me and I need to get serious about my relationship with Him.  I want to put that on top priority and make it as rich and joyfull as I can. 

I think thats all i'll write tonight, hopefully i'll blog more often now. Royse Out.

So Brian derrick and i went to dallas last night lol, spur of the moment roadtrips are freakin dang-awesome, now i get to go work at the pool for 8 hours, come swim or something. Well life is...life.  I guess its when God allows a storm to pass through your life that you find out who you really are.  Faith is tough to have, but absolutley essential.  Know Him.

steven

so...i need to update, but i dont know.  I'm always afraid to put anything really important on here.  I dont know i guess all the uncool people deleted their xanga anyway lol.  Well i've learned alot in the past few weeks.  I've learned alot about depravity.  About how weak i am and how strong i thought i was.  I guess you could say i had it all goin for me.  I'm going to one of the top schools in the nation with a full ride plus some, i made excelent grades, i had the greatest girlfriend in the world who was also my very best friend.  I'm not going to go into alot of detail basically because i dont want to, but i dont know...its just hard.  I'm the kind of guy that when he has everything perfect in his life, he's more than willing to just keep on keepin on.  All of that changed.  I never saw it coming and there was nothing i could do to stop it.  i keep racking my brain over and over trying to make sense of it and trying to figure out how i can fix it but the fact is i just cant.  I cant do anything but make it worse by trying to fix it.  I guess times like these, that are so difficult, confusing and depressing that it makes you just want to give up, test how much faith you have in God almighty, and also in yourself.  I've had to convince myself that i'm not worthless.  I've had to make it through quite literally a "hell" of a week or so without the person i could always count on, always call, and always know was there for me.  I've had to rely totally on God's comfort and grace.  My friends are wonderful and i thank God for them everyday, but its just very difficult to lose someone so precious and wonderful.  God has an incredible plan for me and i just cant see it right now.  I know He knows my desires, and if i delight myslef in Him, He's not going to leave me out to dry.  But i just want to do the right thing.  I want her to be happy most of all, and i want her to figure out what she wants to figure out.  I'm just tired of doing things wrong. But i know God is a big enough God to help me and to prompt me to do things right.  All i have to do is trust him. I have to keep being the guy He wants me to be.  I've got to keep being a good friend, and i've got to keep living my life trusting only Christ.  O ya and i've got to go camping really soon, or i'm going to go insane lol.  I guess this did get a little personal, but heck what are blogs for anyway.  peace

steven